Poor Taste in Publicity

Food manufacturers will do almost anything to attract attention. They'll even serve up bizarre food concoctions aimed at leaving a nasty taste in their consumers' mouths. Foods mixing sweet, savoury, and/or sour ingredients are being embraced for their curiosity and free media headlines, not because they are pleasant to eat. In fact the manufacturers barely expect them to sell.

Burger King recently launched a limited edition bacon sundae (below), with vanilla soft serve with fudge, caramel, bacon crumbles and a piece of bacon. Yes, that's right, vanilla ice cream and bacon! There are few doubts the product is only being consumed by the most adventurous fast food junkies, but that doesn't matter, because its launch made news around the world.

Last week a trendy South Yarra bakery in Melbourne employed the same tactic, launching bacon-infused doughnuts (below).

One of Australia's most popular foods, Vegemite, has also featured in some absurd creations. Most disgustingly, the American frozen yogurt chain Tasti D-Lite featured Vegemite flavored ice-cream. And last year Smith's Potato Chips tested our taste buds with Vegemite flavored chips. Not surprisingly they were only available for 12 weeks.

Finally, the not-so-humble hamburger has been massacred by just about every country on Earth. There are endless opportunities for alterations to ingredients, appearance and composition. KFC's 'Cheese-top Burger' (below) was dubbed the 'World's Dumbest Burger' after it was released in The Philippines.

Also the 'Darth Vader Burger' featuring a black bun (below) is the work of European fast-food chain 'Quick'.

Modern consumers are known to be drawn to the unknown, the unheard of and the gross. Even if they don't try it or buy it, the social buzz surrounding weird creations is giving food marketers a lingering taste for success.

What Makes People Stick

It takes a special kind of person to decorate their car's back window or bumper with a sticker. Yes, it's often older cars that get plastered with paraphernalia, but not always. If you're prepared to risk damaging the duco on your car, you must be very committed to the sticker's cause.


Cult Status or Inspirational Messages
There's an underlying cult status attached to the widely shown purple 'Magic Happens' stickers. But it's hard to know what they actually represent. Spirituality? Science fiction? Fantasy? Witchcraft? I doubt even those displaying the stickers know. But that doesn't stop them jumping on the Magic Happens bandwagon, in the hope that some kind of magic will happen to them.

Sporting Club, School or Special Interest Groups

AFL, NRL, and other sporting club stickers are widely prevalent, particularly on utes and tradie vans. Successful teams get a good representation, and funnily enough drivers displaying the St Kilda AFL sticker often look miserable at the wheel. Parents of school kids proudly display their school logos, particularly if they are expensive private schools. Environmental groups also love their car stickers (How often do you see the green Greenpeace ones?!)

The Aggressive, Intimidating and Offensive Take
Seeing a 'Back Off' sticker actually makes you want to tail-gate the offending car. Until of course you realise they are a bearded, possibly toothless, singlet-wearing, tatted-up guy. Similarly, 'If you can read this you're too close' and 'If you can't see my mirror I can't see you' messages are often embraced by aggressive and intimidating truck or van drivers with a chip on their shoulder.

Family Oriented Statements

Like the 'Magic Happens' stickers, the 'My Family' stick figures are well-known and widely hated. Several articles and blogs I've seen have said in response 'I don't give a #$%^ what your family is.' 'Mum's Taxi', 'Baby on Board' are also a hit, primarily with bad, dangerous and selfish drivers who drive as if family values are the least thing on their mind.

If you think you've seen every possible car decoration creation, driving in bumper-to-bumper traffic can surprise you. Fluffy toys dangling from the rear-view mirror; Hello Kitty collections at the back window; and recently spotted, licence plates customised for each star-sign. At least it makes the drive home entertaining.

Keep Calm and Avoid the Hysteria

Exactly what is the origin of the ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’ motto adorning posters and merchandise worldwide? If you haven't seen it, you don't get out enough.

The motto actually dates back to the Second World War when King George VI was in power. The Ministry of Information (MOI) was formed by the British Government and responsible for publicity and propaganda. A number of posters with morale-boosting slogans were created and displayed across Britain, but the popular ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’ slogan was never officially seen by the public. It was only to be released upon Germany’s invasion of Britain, which didn’t happen. It was eventually discovered and reproduced by historians. And, thanks to modern marketing, this slogan has now become a British icon.

This is nice, because in a subtle way it recognises an appreciation for British troops. But it's also nice for all the companies jumping on the bandwagon using it in their slogans. The words on the original propaganda poster have been trivialised by their use on everything from t-shirts to lame office coffee mugs and even iphone covers.

As an Australian consumer I only became aware of these products last year, and I was immediately curious about their success. The original slogan has evolved to reflect more peaceful times. Latest additions include: Keep Calm and Eat Cupcakes, Keep Calm and Drink Up, Keep Calm and Cuddle Up. Some of these products have cheekily replaced the iconic crown figure on the authentic 'Keep Calm and Carry On' branding, with a logo of their own. And there's been a whole range of copy cat designs appearing worldwide, desperately trying to stand out from the crowd.

It'd be safe to say that most consumers familiar with all, or any, of these products don't even know the slogan's original identity. Which is a shame.

I'm not looking for new friends...just decent service!

"This is so pretty... is it for a special occasion? Big plans tonight?"

“How’s it going in there, are you right for sizes?” The sales assistant, who just showed me to the fitting room ten seconds ago, is yelling enthusiastically at me while tapping her hand on the cubicle door. Only a superhero could have undressed and tried something on in this time interval. And, if I venture out of the cubicle, her response would be something equally enthusiastic and possibly untrue, like “That’s really cute, it would look so good paired with this top, hang on while I go and get it!!” And, ironically this is one of those stores where there are no mirrors in the cubicles so you must make the grand entrance so the whole shop can see. Quite possibly this scenario would also include being greeted by all three sales assistants within a minute of entering the store. Sometimes it’s all just a little too overwhelming.

In these tough economic times, retailers are doing everything they can to make sales. But many don't realise that their overzealous sales tactics are driving quite a few of us away. A simple smile is enough. But how often do you get asked “What are you up to today?” (when clearly you’re out shopping), or something completely random like “Your nail polish is awesome! Where’s it from?” Is this a tactic to make you buy? Shopping shouldn’t have to be a forced social situation. Most days you want to remain completely anonymous.


But on the other end of the scale, when you desperately need help, there’s often nobody to be found. Or you have to consider interrupting two sales people discussing their weekend. That's when we admit defeat and flee, without anyone even noticing we’ve left.

If sales staff, and the bosses who train them, could understand the balance between being attentive and annoying, then maybe the threat from online sales wouldn’t be so great.